Courageous Parenting

May’s Fifth Sunday Combined Priesthood and Relief Society Lesson included a discussion continued from my ward conference assignment based on the conference address by   Larry R Lawrence, of the Seventy, Courageous Parenting, October 2010 General Conference.  I pulled what I felt were the 10 key points from the talk, and followed them with Elder Lawrence’s message  is in quotations.  Ultimately as parents, teachers, and leaders we must teach our children, we must be courageous in the fight for righteousness.

1. Children sense our fear, they are sensitive, they follow our lead. “Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid” (Joshua 1:9). This [is] a good theme for parents. What the world really needs is courageous parenting from mothers and fathers who are not afraid to speak up and take a stand. Elder Joe J. Christensen reminded us that “parenting is not a popularity contest.” In the same spirit, Elder Robert D. Hales has observed, “Sometimes we are afraid of our children—afraid to counsel with them for fear of offending them.”

2. Our children are in spiritual peril. If your child was sick or in danger you would do all in your power to heal and help them. Are we doing all we can to help them spiritually? “Challenges and temptations are coming at our [children] with the speed and power of a freight train. As we are reminded in the family proclamation, parents are responsible for the protection of their children. That means spiritually as well as physically.”

3. Listen to the spirit, always mention when you are feeling the spirit “Young people understand more than we realize because they too have the gift of the Holy Ghost. They are trying to recognize the Spirit when He speaks, and they are watching our example. From us they learn to pay attention to their promptings—that if they “don’t feel good about something,” it’s best not to pursue it.”

4. Spouses, support each other in decisions, communicate your feelings “It’s so important for husbands and wives to be united when making parenting decisions. If either parent doesn’t feel good about something, then permission should not be granted. If either feels uncomfortable about a movie, a television show, a video game, a party, a dress, a swimsuit, or an Internet activity, have the courage to support each other and say no.” “If your spouse doesn’t feel good about something, show respect for those feelings. When you take the easy way out by saying and doing nothing, you may be enabling destructive behavior.”

5. Morality must be taught “Parents can prevent a lot of heartache by teaching their children to postpone romantic relationships until the time comes when they are ready for marriage. Prematurely pairing off with a boyfriend or girlfriend is dangerous. Becoming a “couple” creates emotional intimacy, which too often leads to physical intimacy. Satan knows this sequence and uses it to his advantage. He will do whatever he can to keep young men from serving missions and to prevent temple marriages.” “It is vital that parents have the courage to speak up and intervene before Satan succeeds. President Boyd K. Packer has taught that “when morality is involved, we have both the right and the obligation to raise a warning voice.”

6. Be involved, communicate, listen to your children “I have always believed that nothing really good happens late at night and that young people need to know what time they are expected to come home. There is a great deal of wisdom displayed when parents stay up and wait for their children to return home. Young men and women make far better choices when they know their parents are waiting up to hear about their evening and to kiss them good night.”

7. Know where your children are, who they are with, and what they are doing “Peer pressure becomes more powerful when our children are away from our influence and when their defenses are weakened late at night. If you have ever felt uneasy about an overnight activity, don’t be afraid to respond to that warning voice inside. Always be prayerful when it comes to protecting your precious children.”

8. Make righteous living a part of your everyday lifestyle “Courageous parenting does not always involve saying no. Parents also need courage to say yes to the counsel of modern-day prophets. Our Church leaders have counseled us to establish righteous patterns in our homes. Consider five fundamental practices that have the power to fortify our youth: family prayer, family scripture study, family home evening, family dinner together, and regular one-on-one interviews with each child.”

9. Gather your family together “It takes courage to gather children from whatever they’re doing and kneel together as a family. It takes courage to turn off the television and the computer and to guide your family through the pages of the scriptures every day. It takes courage to turn down other invitations on Monday night so that you can reserve that evening for your family. It takes courage and willpower to avoid over scheduling so that your family can be home for dinner.”

10. Communicate, personally “One of the most effective ways we can influence our sons and daughters is to counsel with them in private interviews. By listening closely, we can discover the desires of their hearts, help them set righteous goals, and also share with them the spiritual impressions that we have received about them. Counseling requires courage.”