Monday, June 27, 2011

Desire to Become

From Sunday’s Relief Society lesson taught by Sister Ellison – Diagrams included!

Quotes from the Talk: Desire, Dallin H. Oaks, April 2011 General Conference Address Desire to Become Diagram

“I hope each of us will search our hearts to determine what we really desire and how we rank our most important desires.”

“Desires dictate our priorities, priorities shape our choices, and   choices determine our actions. The desires we act on determine our changing, our achieving, and our becoming.”

“When we have a vision of what we can become, our desire and our power to act increase enormously.”

“In his sermon on faith, Alma teaches that faith can begin with “no more than [a] desire to believe” if we will “let this desire work in [us]” (Alma 32:27).”

“We should remember that righteous desires cannot be superficial, impulsive, or temporary. They must be heartfelt, unwavering, and permanent. So motivated, we will seek for that condition described by the Prophet Joseph Smith, where we have “overcome the evils of [our lives] and lost every desire for sin.” 5 That is a very personal decision. As Elder Neal A. Maxwell said: “When people are described as ‘having lost their desire for sin,’ it is they, and they only, who deliberately decided to lose those wrong desires by being willing to ‘give away all [their] sins’ in order to know God.” “Therefore, what we insistently desire, over time, is what we will eventually become and what we will receive in eternity.”  Neal A. Maxwell, “According to the Desire of [Our] Hearts,” Ensign, Nov. 1996, 22, 21.

Desire to become - Intensity Scale

Similar message on the topic:

What manner of men ought ye to be?, Lynn G Robbins, April 2011 General Conference Address

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Sacrament Meeting Talks

Our monthly Relief Society Meeting was this past Tuesday, featuring tips and advice when preparing and presenting sacrament meeting talks. Here are some of the resources:

Giving a Sacrament Meeting Talk http://lds.org/pa/display/0,17884,7003-1,00.html

Giving a talk in sacrament meeting or in any of our Church meetings should be recognized as a special opportunity. Seek the inspiration of our Heavenly Father through prayer, scripture study, and studying the words of the living prophets in the Church magazines as you prepare your talk. “Ask and ye shall receive; knock, and it shall be opened unto you” (D&C 4:7).

Natural divisions of a talk:

  1. The introduction. A good introduction is short. The purpose of an introduction is to gain the attention and interest of the listeners. You might include a short quotation from the scriptures, a question, or a quick statement about local circumstances or world events.
  2. Statement of what you intend to talk about.
  3. Body of the talk. The body is your development of the subject, containing your illustrations and examples. This is the portion of your talk where you may wish to use a few short notes.
    • Do not present as your talk a story from a book or one of the Church magazines.
    • Give your talk with your own reasoning, using your own words.
    • Say what you have prepared in a friendly, conversational manner.
    • Speak sincerely, with conviction and with enthusiasm.
    • Be for something rather than against something.
  4. Conclusion.
    • Give a short summation or restatement with conclusions.
    • Leave your audience with a positive attitude.
    • Share your testimony of the principle you have taught.
    • Finish your talk within the allotted time.
      (See Communications Manual [1982, item no. 30814], 1–2.)

Tips for Terrific Talks, Meghan Decker, “Idea List: Tips for Terrific Talks,” New Era, July 2004, 11

For many people, speaking in front of others is their greatest fear. As members of the Church, we have many opportunities to speak. The following ideas can help you prepare and deliver a meaningful talk. Remember: “If ye are prepared ye shall not fear” (D&C 38:30).

Preparation:

  1. Start thinking about your topic as soon as you are asked to speak. Don’t procrastinate.
  2. Pray for insight and inspiration.
  3. Identify the gospel principles involved in your topic and how they can bring your listeners to Christ.
  4. Research your topic. Use the words of modern and ancient prophets—from conference and the scriptures—as your primary sources.

Organization:

  1. Plan to start your talk by capturing your listeners’ attention. Sharing a personal experience is a good way to begin and focus your topic.
  2. Explain how the principles being discussed will bless your listeners’ lives and bring them closer to the Lord.
  3. After explaining the principles, teach how to put them into practice.

Delivery:

  1. Remember you are worshipping the Lord, not trying to impress the congregation.
  2. As much as possible, maintain eye contact with various listeners throughout the talk.
  3. Let your own voice come through—your emotions, your reactions, your testimony.
  4. Resist the urge to race. Speak steadily and clearly. Every word is important.
  5. Read the scriptures as real words, the way the writer would have spoken them.
  6. Sincere testimony is the most important part of every talk. Let the Spirit speak through you to the hearts of your listeners.

Delivering an Effective Talk  Delivering an Effective Talk by Marcus Sheridan, Ensign, August 2010, 42-43.   http://lds.org/churchmagazines/EN_2010_08_14___09208_000_022.pdf

Being a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints means more than sitting in church, listening to others speak. The Savior has organized His Church to give all of us opportunities to grow spiritually. One of those opportunities is speaking in church, which can be an exhilarating and spiritually satisfying experience. 

To make the most of their talks, effective speakers show enthusiasm, share stories and personal experiences, use quotes and scriptures, and speak through the power of the Holy Ghost.

I. Show Enthusiasm:

The more enthusiastic we are about the gospel, the more others will see our fire and have a desire to experience the same feelings. On the other hand, if our talks—especially at the outset—are filled with apologies or negative statements, we may discredit ourselves, lessen our message, and offend the Spirit. By being excited and eager to share their message—the Lord’s message—confident speakers bless others.

II. Share Stories and Personal Experiences

When we share a powerful story or personal experience, our message can have a lasting impact on our listeners. People love to hear stories. That’s why heads pop up and attention increases when we share them.

All of us have experienced memorable events. It just takes creativity and energy to make the telling of a story interesting. If we can’t think of an appropriate personal story, we can always share a story from the Church magazines.

When sharing personal experiences, effective speakers:

  • Practice telling their stories beforehand so they don’t have to read them and can maintain eye contact with the congregation.
  • Keep their stories short and interesting.
  • Fluctuate their tone of voice and convey feeling.
  • Relate descriptive details when appropriate.
  • Occasionally show a sense of humor but understand that not all talks require a joke.
  • Make their point at the end of each story.

III. Use Quotes and Scriptures

The words of the Lord and His servants teach, inspire, guide, and motivate. If we can bring their words to life in our talks, we can affect others in a positive and profound way.

When citing scriptures and quotes, good speakers:

  • Share the background and history of scriptures and quotes to help listeners understand their significance.
  • Focus on only a few scriptures and quotes.
  • Emphasize important parts.

IV. Speak through the Power of the Holy Spirit

Speaking through the power of the Holy Ghost is the most important way we can communicate. As Nephi observed, “When a man speaketh by the power of the Holy Ghost the power of the Holy Ghost carrieth it unto the hearts of the children of men” (2 Nephi 33:1).  We qualify for that influence as we fast, pray, and prepare diligently for our talks. If we are properly prepared, we have no need to fear (see D&C 38:30). By combining the companionship of the Holy Ghost with enthusiasm, storytelling, scriptures and quotes, and then by adding our testimony of the truths we share, we will uplift and inspire.

V. The Example of President Monson

President Thomas S. Monson is a powerful and moving speaker. An examination of his speaking style and some of his recent general conference talks reveals the abilities of a good speaker. 1  President Monson often stresses that it is his privilege to speak to Church members, and he expresses gratitude for the opportunity. In addition, he regularly shows that gratitude by demonstrating enthusiasm at the outset of his talks. After his opening statements, President Monson quotes scriptures to give his talk direction and tell his listeners what his topic is. He also quotes General Authorities and others to add further light to his topic. President Monson is well-known for sharing personal experiences from his life. He knows that his audience will take interest in and relate to personal stories. He also knows that one of the best ways to teach is by sharing what life has taught him. In relating stories, President Monson uses powerful details to generate interest. Often, he also uses poetry to punctuate his message. Finally, President Monson understands the importance of bearing testimony, which he does frequently and powerfully.

Note: See, for example, Thomas S. Monson, “Be Your Best Self,” Liahona and Ensign, May 2009, 67; “Be of Good Cheer,” Liahona and Ensign, May 2009, 89; “May You Have Courage,” Liahona and Ensign, May 2009, 123.

BYU Campus Education Week: Preparing powerful sacrament meeting messages; by David Mortimer, Church News, August 19, 2010.  http://www.ldschurchnews.com/articles/59765/BYU-Campus-Education-Week-Preparing-powerful-sacrament-meeting-messages.html   dmortimer@desnews.com  (Book: “Amen: Speaking in Church with Purpose & Peace” by Celeste Elain Witt)

Speakers in sacrament meeting should take on the role of the Savior in providing “living water” to those who hear their message, said Celeste Elain Witt, instructor of public speaking at BYU during her Aug. 18 presentation at BYU Campus Education Week.

“As people are coming into sacrament meeting, they’re thirsty,” said Sister Witt, who is also a communications consultant and speech coach. “Everyone comes so thirsty. How are you going to quench it?”   To accomplish this task, Sister Witt guided her audience through a five-step writing process in hopes of helping them create “laser-focused” messages.  “Those in the congregation want the message that you give to be accessible,” she said. “It has to be able to be captured by your audience.”

First, Sister Witt said speakers should refine the topic given to them by priesthood leaders, which is usually generic, to have a greater impact.   “If you don’t narrow your topic, you will be searching for information for way too long,” she said. “If you narrow your topic properly, the other steps will naturally flow.”

Methods she suggested to help narrow a topic included personal experiences and a specific event or challenge facing the ward audience.  Once a topic has been narrowed, Sister Witt said speakers should develop a clear purpose or mission statement for their talk.   “Figure out what your mission is and then actually write it out,” she said. “Put it at the top of your computer page or your yellow tablet.” She added that most mission statements revolve around inspiring, motivating or informing listeners.

Once the speaker determines a specific mission, they can begin to develop the message of the talk itself. Most sacrament meeting attendees, according to Sister Witt will only recall one sentence from the talk. As a result, speakers should harness the power of determining what that sentence is without being too quirky or overly dramatic.  “You need to actually write down the sentence you want them to take home,” she said. “How are they going to know what to take home unless you tell them?”   After the process of specification is over, research for the talk can begin.   “There’s no question that in the one or two weeks you’re given to prepare, you don’t have time to become a gospel scholar,” she said, “but you owe it to your audience to actually do some research.”

Instead of going overboard to find something new on a given topic, Sister Witt encouraged those in attendance to look at scriptures and other sources familiar to Church members in a different way. She illustrated this by showing close-up pictures of wildflowers she had taken, later revealing that they were located on Y Mountain in Provo.   “If you look carefully, you will notice things that no one else has ever noticed,” she said. “If you see what no one else can see, you can say what no one else can say.”   During the process of inserting the research into the talk itself, Sister Witt emphasized the need to use quotes effectively and avoid over-referencing sources, even scripture references, which can detract from the message of the source itself.  

In a seemingly paradoxical move write an introduction and conclusion to the talk.   “You can’t write your introduction and your conclusion until you know what it is that’s in the middle of your talk,” she said.

18 Speaking Tips:

From “18 Public Speaking Tips” by the Editors of Publications International, Ltd.  & my thoughts, quotes, scriptures, and other ideas from (in italics) to make the original 18 tips a bit more tailored to sacrament meeting talks. Find the original article here: http://money.howstuffworks.com/18-tips-for-public-speaking.htm

If this were a list of the human race's greatest fears, public speaking would be right at the top. Whether it's forgetting your lines or realizing you have a tail of toilet paper hanging out of your pants, fear of public speaking really boils down to fear of being ridiculed, rejected, and publicly humiliated. But don't worry -- with the following tips, you'll be fine! So relax and check out the first tip to get started.

Giving Talks in Church can be one the most nerve racking experience, however sooner or later you will probably be asked to give one. These 18 tips tailored with additional sacrament meeting  talk advice can help calm the nerves and put the whole experience in a much better perspective.

1. Watch the Masters: If you've got a speech or presentation in your future, start looking for what makes successful public speakers so successful. Note their styles and habits and keep them in mind as good examples. Watch, Read, Study talks given at general conference – These are great examples for sacrament meeting talks and you may find some great quotes to include too!

2. Fix Up, Look Sharp: If you're in a position where public speaking is required, let's hope you've already got a handle on the importance of personal grooming. If not, take heed: The better you look, the more ready and professional you'll feel. A lot of people are going to be looking at you -- make sure you look your best. When we attend a Church meeting, our purpose is to worship our Father in Heaven and His Son, Jesus Christ. Our clothing should show our reverence for them. We do not dress to attract attention to ourselves, thus distracting others and causing the Spirit to depart. Show respect for the Lord and for yourself by dressing appropriately for Church meetings and activities, whether they are on Sunday or during the week. If you are not sure what is appropriate, ask your leaders for guidance.” Robert D. Hales, “Modesty: Reverence for the Lord,” Ensign, Aug 2008, 34–39

3. Hello, Room. Nice to Meet You. If at all possible, check the specs of the room where you'll be speaking. Is it football stadium big or conference room big? What about the sound system? If you'll be using a microphone, it's a good idea to test it out beforehand. The more familiar you are with your environment, the more comfortable you'll be at the podium. This is great advice! Why not come and practice at the podium, run through your whole talk if that helps – or just ramble at the podium, practice using the microphone, the chapel is usually empty after church and during midweek activities.

4. Sober Up: If your speaking engagement is at a social function (e.g., wedding, reunion), it might seem like a good idea to guzzle as much liquid courage as you can before your speech. But listening to a sincere speech from someone who's nervous is much better than listening to incoherent babble from someone who's loaded. First off, the Prophets and the word of wisdom have yet again solved this dilemma for us by counseling us to abstain from alcohol, our lifestyle already reflects a decision not to impair our judgment. However, have you ever looked up the word sobriety in the Topical Guide and read the scripture references, or found the definition? We are counseled to be sober - this soberness means to be serious and thoughtful in demeanor or quality, having to do with our behavior, manner, or appearance, especially as it reflects on our character. “Walk in the ways of truth and soberness” Mosiah 4:15 “Speak the truth in soberness” D&C 18:21

5. Know Your Material: Winging it is not a good idea when you've got a speech to make. While going with the flow and being flexible is smart, trusting yourself to be brilliant without any preparation is something even the pros don't attempt. Do your research. Know your topic and what you're going to say about it and how you'd like to say it. The more you know, the more confident you'll be up there. The effort we put into a talk does reflect in our confidence, just pondering on the topic, reading scriptures and conference addresses will help us gain our focus. It is important to remember “If ye are prepared ye shall not fear” D&C 38:30 the Lord will help us “I will not leave you comfortless” John 14:18. Keep it simple, over preparing can be as flustering as under-preparing. Over- preparation often leaves the speaker with too many points, no way to get to them all, and a difficulty remembering which is what and where you are going; keep in mind sacrament meeting talks are not dissertations or research papers on the mysteries of the kingdom of God, this is an opportunity to share what you know about the simple truths of the gospel and add your personal connection and testimony of them.

6. Practice, Practice, Practice: Once you're prepared, go through the speech. Then read it again. Then again. And then once more. Practice in front of a mirror. Practice to your dog. Grab a friend or family member and practice in front of a real human being. Every time you go through your presentation, you're adding another layer of "I know this stuff." The more we do the more familiar we are doing it, the easier it gets!

7. Visualize Yourself Being Fabulous: Negative thinking will get you nowhere but down in the dumps. If you believe that you'll be great, you will be. If you think you're going to fail, you probably will. It's as simple as that.”Be strong and of good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them; for the Lord they God, he it is that doth go with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee.” Deuteronomy 31:6 “I, the Lord, declare unto you, and my words are sure and shall not fail” D&C 64:31

8. Know Your Audience: To whom are you speaking? If they're colleagues, they probably want to learn something from you. If they're friends, they're likely looking to be entertained. If it's a judge, well, he or she wants to be convinced. Know who your audience is and tailor your speech and delivery to them. Give them what they want! Your audience is simply your brothers and sisters in the gospel. Our Sacrament Meeting congregations are a mixture of members and non-members of all backgrounds, ages, and experiences, investigators to new converts to lifelong members with varying church activity. The purpose of your talk is to help members build faith and testimony.

9. Relax! We're usually our own worst critics. If you forget to read a sentence off your notes, it's doubtful anyone will know. If you skip forward to the next image on the projector by mistake, no one's going to run you out of town. Don't worry. It's not life or death, it's just a speech. Again you are among friends, your brothers and sisters in the gospel, of all the places in the world you should feel less judged in a church congregation with fellow saints and followers of Christ. Practice confidence, reassure yourself of your safety, and practice supporting others and not judging them when they speak. “Peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment. Thy friends do stand by thee, and they shall hail thee again with warm hearts and friendly hands.” D&C 121:7, 9

10. Don't Give It Away: If it really, truly makes you feel better to announce to the room that you're so nervous before you begin, go ahead. But your speech will have a lot more weight if you don't. Chances are good that you're the only one who knows you're shaking in your boots -- why show the cracks in your armor? Let them believe you have it under control, even if you don't feel like you do.

11. Slow Your Roll: One of the biggest indicators of nervousness is the lightning-fast talker. You might have the best speech ever written, but if no one can understand what you're saying, it doesn't matter. Pace yourself and remember to speak at a normal (or even slightly slower) pace when you're speaking publicly. I am a fast talker, it think fast, I am usually pressed for time. I can attest, it takes a lot of energy to remind yourself to slow down. If you are relaxed you will speak slower, part of that is giving yourself enough time to get through each thought, to break down your talk in its most simplistic form so you can get to everything, and to speak your thoughts clearly.

12. The Eyes Have It: People trust people who look them in the eye, so look at your audience when you're speaking to them. Don't look at the floor -- there's nothing down there. Don't look solely at your notes -- the audience will think you haven't prepared. You appear more confident when your head is up, which puts your audience at ease and allows you to take command of the room. The better you know what you are going to say – the better you can say it to your audience – tell them your talk, speak to them and with them – our spoken language is not complete without our physical expressions, voice inflections, facial expression, and our ability to convey emotion through body language and words.

13. Go On, Be Funny! Who doesn't like to laugh a little? You don't have to be a comedian, but a few lighthearted comments can help humanize you to your audience. Win them over with a smile and a well-timed clever remark, if you can. But be advised, too many jokes can weaken the validity of a presentation. Careful, look to tip #1 & #4 for some advice here. Humor can break the ice, but when used inappropriately it can also quickly chase away the Spirit.

14. Your Errors Are Okay: So you tripped on the microphone cord. So what? So you said macro when you meant micro somewhere in your speech. So you accidentally said the name of your sister's ex-boyfriend during your toast instead of the name of her new husband -- so what! Everyone makes mistakes. Acknowledge them and move on. No one is perfect, so you fumbled, correct yourself and move on! You will beat yourself up on it more than anyone else, so be the first one to let it go, even have a laugh about it later on! Our Sacrament Meeting talks are given by our members, not by paid clergy or professional speakers – we have members of all backgrounds, ages, and experiences, new converts to lifelong members each with varying church activity. We all make mistakes.

15. Keep It Short, Please: Even the president's State of the Union Address is only around an hour. Know what's expected of you and deliver that -- and no more. We've all been tortured by a speaker who goes on and on, caring little for the audience's interest or comfort level. Don't be one of those speakers -- always leave them wanting more. Practice to stay within your time limits, don’t over prepare so you can hit your key points within your time. If your time has been cut short by someone/ thing else be flexible – don’t spend your precious time complaining about what time you don’t have. Know what are the most important points. Eye contact with your audience will also help you know when your time is about up.

16. It's SO Not About You: The more you can take the focus off yourself, the better. After all, it's not likely you're being asked to give a presentation of your life story. So concentrate on the message and find freedom in just being the messenger. Your purpose is to share the gospel of Jesus Christ. Build faith and testimony. It’s not about you or how great you are as an orator; your humility will speak with much more eloquence and understanding when sharing the gospel.

17. Fake It 'Til You Make It: The old saying "fake it 'til you make it" is actually pretty good advice. Even if you have zero confidence in yourself, try acting like you do. The longer you fake it, the more comfortable it will feel, until, viola, you're a bona fide confidence machine. Confidence is built - it is a process and takes practice, it begins with an attitude of “I can do this”. “I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them.” 1 Nephi 3:7

18. Be Yourself: We're all human. We're all a little afraid of the podium, the microphone, or the boardroom. Despite what you may believe, people don't want you to fail. They ultimately want to see you succeed. Give them what they want by just being the best you can be. We need to have faith and confidence in the Lord to allow him to teach and guide us “Moses said unto the Lord, O my Lord, I am not eloquent, neither heretofore, nor since thou hast spoken unto thy servant: but I am slow of speech, and of a slow tongue. And the Lord said unto him, Who hath made man’s mouth? …have not I the Lord? Now therefore go, and I will be with thy mouth, and teach thee what thou shalt say.” Exodus 4:10-12

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Courageous Parenting

May’s Fifth Sunday Combined Priesthood and Relief Society Lesson included a discussion continued from my ward conference assignment based on the conference address by   Larry R Lawrence, of the Seventy, Courageous Parenting, October 2010 General Conference.  I pulled what I felt were the 10 key points from the talk, and followed them with Elder Lawrence’s message  is in quotations.  Ultimately as parents, teachers, and leaders we must teach our children, we must be courageous in the fight for righteousness.

1. Children sense our fear, they are sensitive, they follow our lead. “Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid” (Joshua 1:9). This [is] a good theme for parents. What the world really needs is courageous parenting from mothers and fathers who are not afraid to speak up and take a stand. Elder Joe J. Christensen reminded us that “parenting is not a popularity contest.” In the same spirit, Elder Robert D. Hales has observed, “Sometimes we are afraid of our children—afraid to counsel with them for fear of offending them.”

2. Our children are in spiritual peril. If your child was sick or in danger you would do all in your power to heal and help them. Are we doing all we can to help them spiritually? “Challenges and temptations are coming at our [children] with the speed and power of a freight train. As we are reminded in the family proclamation, parents are responsible for the protection of their children. That means spiritually as well as physically.”

3. Listen to the spirit, always mention when you are feeling the spiritYoung people understand more than we realize because they too have the gift of the Holy Ghost. They are trying to recognize the Spirit when He speaks, and they are watching our example. From us they learn to pay attention to their promptings—that if they “don’t feel good about something,” it’s best not to pursue it.”

4. Spouses, support each other in decisions, communicate your feelingsIt’s so important for husbands and wives to be united when making parenting decisions. If either parent doesn’t feel good about something, then permission should not be granted. If either feels uncomfortable about a movie, a television show, a video game, a party, a dress, a swimsuit, or an Internet activity, have the courage to support each other and say no.” “If your spouse doesn’t feel good about something, show respect for those feelings. When you take the easy way out by saying and doing nothing, you may be enabling destructive behavior.”

5. Morality must be taughtParents can prevent a lot of heartache by teaching their children to postpone romantic relationships until the time comes when they are ready for marriage. Prematurely pairing off with a boyfriend or girlfriend is dangerous. Becoming a “couple” creates emotional intimacy, which too often leads to physical intimacy. Satan knows this sequence and uses it to his advantage. He will do whatever he can to keep young men from serving missions and to prevent temple marriages.” “It is vital that parents have the courage to speak up and intervene before Satan succeeds. President Boyd K. Packer has taught that “when morality is involved, we have both the right and the obligation to raise a warning voice.

6. Be involved, communicate, listen to your childrenI have always believed that nothing really good happens late at night and that young people need to know what time they are expected to come home. There is a great deal of wisdom displayed when parents stay up and wait for their children to return home. Young men and women make far better choices when they know their parents are waiting up to hear about their evening and to kiss them good night.”

7. Know where your children are, who they are with, and what they are doingPeer pressure becomes more powerful when our children are away from our influence and when their defenses are weakened late at night. If you have ever felt uneasy about an overnight activity, don’t be afraid to respond to that warning voice inside. Always be prayerful when it comes to protecting your precious children.”

8. Make righteous living a part of your everyday lifestyleCourageous parenting does not always involve saying no. Parents also need courage to say yes to the counsel of modern-day prophets. Our Church leaders have counseled us to establish righteous patterns in our homes. Consider five fundamental practices that have the power to fortify our youth: family prayer, family scripture study, family home evening, family dinner fhe10together, and regular one-on-one interviews with each child.”

9. Gather your family togetherIt takes courage to gather children from whatever they’re doing and kneel together as a family. It takes courage to turn off the television and the computer and to guide your family through the pages of the scriptures every day. It takes courage to turn down other invitations on Monday night so that you can reserve that evening for your family. It takes courage and willpower to avoid over scheduling so that your family can be home for dinner.”

10. Communicate, personally “One of the most effective ways we can influence our sons and daughters is to counsel with them in private interviews. By listening closely, we can discover the desires of their hearts, help them set righteous goals, and also share with them the spiritual impressions that we have received about them. Counseling requires courage.”